What this episode is about
World-renowned sexuality expert Sheri Winston reveals the secret to toe-curling, mind-blowing ecstasy (hint: it's already inside you!)
Key takeaways
- Gabriella says to lean into your resistance a little at a time. Baby steps bring more freedom than you expect.
- Sheri Winston says a female body has as much erectile tissue as a male body. Most of us were never taught where it is or how to wake it up.
- Sheri Winston says most women need 30 to 45 minutes to get fully aroused. Slowing down is normal.
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
Women have erectile tissue too
“Our bodies, your body, my body, we've got just as much of that engorgeable erectile tissue as any male body does.”
Shame was handed to us early
“We have so much shame. It's been dumped on us from when we were babies, from when our primary caregivers were changing our diapers. We started getting shame about our genitals and our bodies.”
Desire can last a lifetime
“I've known some women who were just as horny when they were old women as they were when they were young women.”
“The limiting beliefs that accompany the menopause transition. And one that I've tried to debunk over and over is that our pleasure and our sex lives are over when we get to menopause.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 33:53
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Show notes
Are you ready to experience a whole new level of ecstasy?
What if I told you that your body contains an entire orchestra of pleasure instruments, just waiting to be played?
According to Sheri Winston, award-winning sexuality teacher and author of Women's Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure, most of us are only scratching the surface of our erotic potential.
But with a little knowledge and practice, we can learn to conduct a symphony of toe-curling, mind-blowing bliss in our very own bodies!
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The Secrets of Female Arousal Revealed
Sheri Winston is a true pioneer in the field of female pleasure. With over 20 years as a sexuality teacher, on top of decades of practice as a certified nurse-midwife, gynecology practitioner and childbirth educator she has made it her mission to empower people with practical, pleasure-centered sex education.
And let me tell you, this woman knows her stuff! In our recent interview, Sheri dropped some gems of wisdom about the anatomy of female pleasure that left me in awe of the power women's bodies hold. Did you know that we have just as much erectile tissue as men? It's true!
"Pound for pound, inch for inch, a female body has as much erectile equipment as a male body," Sheri explains. "We all know what penises can do. They can get big and hard - that's engorgement. Our bodies have just as much erectile tissue that can engorge, we just don't know where it is or how to use it."
Introducing Your Erotic Orchestra
So where is all this hidden pleasure potential? According to Sheri, we have a whole "erotic orchestra" of parts that can work together to create unbelievable sensations. Here are some of the key players:
- The "head" of the clitoris (just the tip of the iceberg!)
- The clitoral shaft
- The "legs" of the clitoris inside the body
- Bulbs of erectile tissue near the vaginal opening
- The "urethral sponge" or G-spot
- More erectile tissue near the perineum and anus
"When all these different parts of your network are activated, it's like having a whole symphony playing together," says Sheri. "It creates a much richer, fuller, more expansive experience of arousal and orgasm."
Tuning Your Instruments
So how do we get this erotic orchestra playing in harmony? The first step is to get to know your instruments! Sheri recommends taking yourself on an arousal expedition:
Set aside some self-pleasure time and start locating all the parts mentioned above. Notice their shape, texture and sensitivity. Touch them in different ways and see what feels good.
Try mapping your terrain at different levels of turn-on too. "Check it out when you're not aroused, then get medium aroused and feel again, then bring yourself almost to orgasm and feel the difference," Sheri advises. "When you're fully aroused, that's when you'll really feel all the parts coming alive."
Playing the Long Game
One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to "conduct the orchestra" is rushing through the warm-up. But just like a symphony, your erotic ensemble needs time to build.
"For most women, it takes 30-45 minutes to reach full engorgement and arousal," Sheri revealed in our interview. "Yet the average sex session lasts only 7 minutes! We need to expand our definition of sex and take our time with the journey."
Sheri recommends shifting your focus from the "orgasm goal" and instead savoring all the delicious sensations along the way. Explore all your instruments, try new kinds of touch and stimulation, and follow what feels good in the moment.
Keeping the Music Playing
The best part about having an erotic orchestra at your fingertips? You can keep discovering new ways to play it for your whole life! But like any skill, it takes practice to maintain - especially as we move through menopause and beyond.
"I like to think of arousal like a pot of water," Sheri explains. "When we're younger, it's like there's a constant flame keeping the water hot. But as we age, we have to build the fire ourselves. The more often we practice, the easier it becomes to light that spark."
In other words, it's up to us to keep stoking our own erotic fire by making pleasure a priority. Schedule regular solo sessions, get creative with a partner, learn new skills - whatever keeps your orchestra humming!
A Standing Ovation for Sheri Winston
I don't know about you, but I'm giving Sheri Winston a standing ovation right now. Her groundbreaking work has given us the map to our buried pleasure pleasure - now it's up to us to start exploring!
If you're ready to experience deeper more fulfilling pleasure, I highly recommend checking out Sheri's books and online courses. Trust me, your erotic orchestra will thank you!
To learn more about Sheri Winston and her educational offerings, visit The Intimate Arts Center.
About the guest
Sheri WinstonHolistic sexuality teacherGuest on this episode of Pleasure in the Pause.More about them
