What this episode is about
Five revolutionary discussions with top experts that bust myths about female pleasure and provide practical wisdom for reconnecting with your body's natural capacity for pleasure and joy.
In this episode
- The Truth About Your Body's Pleasure Potential
- The Medical Blind Spot That's Keeping Women in the Dark
- Breaking the Silence Around Menopause
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
Midlife is for thriving
“We are not meant to just get through midlife. We are meant to thrive in it, we are meant to enjoy it, we are meant to feel pleasure, to feel connection, to feel alive.”
Pleasure lives in everyday moments
“Pleasure is about connection to life itself. The simple everyday moments that make us feel alive. The warmth of sun on your skin, the rhythm of your breath and movement.”
Pleasure is about living fully
“Pleasure is not just about sex. It's about living fully, about following your curiosity, about saying yes to the things that bring you energy instead of drain you.”
Advocate for your own pleasure
“We have to empower ourselves with knowledge so that we can be the best advocates for ourselves in and out of the bedroom, because let's be real, if we don't advocate for our pleasure, who will?”
“This is where we dismantle shame and replace it with knowledge. This is where we bring science and wisdom together, so that every woman knows the truth: your body is not the problem, you were never broken.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 3:43
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Show notes
When I started Pleasure in the Pause, I had one mission: to create the resource I desperately needed during my own perimenopause journey.
After 50 episodes of conversations about pleasure, menopause, and female sexuality, I've witnessed something remarkable. These are more than just conversations – they're permission slips for women to reclaim their right to pleasure.
Today, I'm sharing five discussions that changed everything I thought I knew about pleasure, and I believe they'll change your perspective too.
Read the full show notesShow less
The Truth About Your Body's Pleasure Potential
My conversation with Sherry Winston in Episode 5 revealed something astounding: women have just as much erectile tissue as men. Yes, you read that right. The difference? Ours is mostly internal. Think of it like an orchestra – many of us have been playing with just one instrument when we have an entire symphony at our disposal.
The clitoris you see? That's just the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface lies an intricate network of pleasure-responsive tissue that, when fully engorged, creates deeper, fuller, more satisfying experiences.
Key revelation:
- Your pleasure potential is far greater than you've been led to believe
- Complete arousal involves your entire erectile network, not just external stimulation
- Taking time to explore and understand your body opens new pathways to pleasure
Watch the full episode on the secrets to buried pleasure with Sheri Winston here.
Sheri Winston is a celebrated sexuality teacher, award-winning author and medical professional. She offers classes, workshops and retreats online and at in-person venues such as sexuality boutiques, privately sponsored classes, conferences and educational institutions. Sheri teaches for the general public and also offers professional level trainings for health care providers, counselors and educators.
The Medical Blind Spot That's Keeping Women in the Dark
In Episode 21, Dr. Rachel Rubin dropped a truth bomb that stopped me in my tracks: most medical schools barely teach doctors about menopause and female sexual health. No wonder so many of us leave doctor's appointments feeling dismissed or misunderstood.
When Dr. Rubin hands her patients a mirror in her office, she's doing more than showing them their anatomy – she's giving them the power to advocate for themselves. Because when we know the proper terms for our body parts, we can better communicate our needs and concerns.
Important takeaways:
- Your sexual health deserves medical attention and care
- Learn the correct anatomical terms for your body parts
- Don't accept "that's just aging" as an answer to sexual health concerns
Dr. Rachel S. Rubin is a board-certified urologist and sexual medicine specialist. She is one of only a handful of physicians with fellowship training in sexual medicine for all genders. Dr. Rubin is a clinician, researcher, and passionate educator. In addition to being the former education chair and current Director-at-Large for the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH), she serves as associate editor for the journal Sexual Medicine Reviews.
Breaking the Silence Around Menopause
In Episode 25, Denise Pines introduced me to the concept of "weathering" – how life experiences, particularly for women of color, create accumulated stress that impacts how we experience menopause. This conversation opened my eyes to how social, cultural, and systemic factors influence how women of color experience menopause differently.
Remember: menopause isn't a disease to suffer through. It's a transition that deserves understanding, support, and proper medical care.
Critical insights:
- Every woman's menopause experience is unique
- Cultural and social factors influence our experience
- Support and proper care make a significant difference
Denise Pines is co-founder of Women in the Room Productions, where she is committed to diversity in front of and behind the screen. Pines is a media pioneer, award-winning marketer, serial entrepreneur, and community health advocate. Pines is the immediate past president of the Medical Board of California and sits on the board of the Federation of State Medical Boards and the Osteopathic Medical Board of California.
The Testosterone Truth No One's Talking About
In Episode 42, Dr. Susan Hardwick Smith shattered a major myth: testosterone isn't just a male hormone. In fact, women produce more testosterone than estradiol throughout our lives. This hormone plays a crucial role in energy, confidence, and yes, libido.
While men have access to numerous FDA-approved testosterone treatments, women have zero – despite experiencing similar symptoms. This knowledge gap has left many of us struggling unnecessarily.
Essential facts:
- Testosterone is vital for female health and pleasure
- Women's testosterone naturally declines with age
- Safe, effective treatments exist when prescribed properly
Discover the complete episode about testosterone's vital role in women's health and libido here.
Dr. Susan Hardwick-Smith is a Board-Certified Gynecologist and certified menopause practitioner specializing in women's midlife wellness, hormone optimization and sexual wellness. She is the founder of Complete Midlife Wellness Center in Houston, TX, and the best-selling author of "Sexually Woke- Awaken the Secrets to Your Best Sex Life in Midlife and Beyond." She also hosts the popular podcast "Empowering Midlife Wellness." Dr. Susan is the recipient of the Texas Super Doctor award over a dozen times, as well a multiple time recipient of H-Texas magazine's Top Doctor and Top Doctor for Women awards. She also has been chosen as one of Houston's "3 best rated" gynecologists several consecutive years. Dr. Susan is also an ICF certified life and leadership coach, multiple time marathoner and Ironman triathlete, and mother of 3 teenagers.
Your Vulva is a Garden
In Episode 42, Dr. Maria Uloko gave us the perfect metaphor: your vulva is a garden. Like any garden, it needs proper care and nourishment to thrive. This isn't just about aesthetics – it's about maintaining the complex ecosystem that supports your sexual health and pleasure.
When we understand how hormones, blood flow, and tissue health work together, we can better care for our bodies and maintain our capacity for pleasure at any age.
Practical wisdom:
- Vulvar health directly impacts sexual pleasure
- Proper care can prevent common menopausal symptoms
- Many vulvar health issues are preventable with appropriate treatment
Watch the full conversation about nurturing your vulvar health for renewed pleasure here.
Learn more about Dr. Uloko's work and innovative approach to sexual health at her website: mariaulokomd.com. Follow her on Instagram @mariaulokomd for educational content and updates on her practice.
Moving Forward: Your Pleasure Matters
After 50 episodes, here's what I know for sure: pleasure isn't a luxury, it's your birthright. It doesn't expire with age, and it certainly doesn't diminish with menopause. What does change is our understanding of our bodies and our ability to advocate for our needs.
The path to pleasure starts with knowledge. When we understand our bodies, we can better communicate our needs, seek appropriate care, and create the conditions for pleasure to flourish.
Remember: your pleasure matters. Not just in the bedroom, but in every aspect of your life. It's about connection – to yourself, to others, and to the simple joys that make life rich and fulfilling.
Ready to continue this journey? Join me at Pleasure in the Pause, where we're rewriting the story of pleasure in midlife, one conversation at a time.
About your host
Gabriella EspinosaI talk with doctors and experts about pleasure, desire and feeling fully alive in midlife.More about me
