What this episode is about
Gabriella welcomes back somatic psychotherapist, sex therapist, and author Carly Mountain for one of the most expansive and thought-provoking conversations this show has ever had.
Key takeaways
- Carly Mountain says parts of us were shaped by cultural and family conditioning. Untamed pleasure means unlearning that and finding the pleasure already alive inside you.
- Carly says the first key in her book is choice. When you hit a block inside yourself, you have the power to choose to move toward it.
- Carly says if pleasure is missing from your life, look at how you make love. She says your sex life tends to mirror what's going on in other areas.
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
The pleasure paradox
“The road to pleasure may not always be all pleasurable, that actually to expand our capacity for pleasure we have to also embrace all aspects of life, the unpalatable through to the really delicious.”
Choosing pleasure serves everyone
“If we're really worried about, oh my gosh, if I go towards my pleasure, I'll become selfish and my work won't get done. I'll be a terrible parent. I don't think that's true. I think the opposite is true.”
Step into it more
“Some women want to open the doors wide open to exploring their sexuality. But it's all the same thing. It's not either or, right? It doesn't mean you're turning off that erotic energy. It means you can step into it more.”
The most alive years can come later
“I discovered from so many women that actually their most erotic sort of alive, sensual, creative bodies came online the most in their 40s and beyond.”
“At its core, the erotic is about aliveness. It's our capacity to feel present, connected, awake to beauty, pleasure, desire, creativity, and the experience of being fully in our bodies.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 1:24
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Show notes
When you hear the word erotic, what comes up for you?
For most of us it immediately conjures images of sex, the taboo, or something forbidden. But eroticism is so much bigger than that. At its core, the erotic is about aliveness. It is our capacity to feel present, connected, awake to beauty, pleasure, desire, creativity, and the experience of being fully in our bodies.
And it is something so many women lose touch with, especially in midlife, when stress, caregiving, hormonal shifts, and the relentless pace of everyday life leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves.
Read the full show notesShow less
In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, Gabriella welcomes back somatic psychotherapist, sex therapist, and author Carly Mountain for one of the most expansive and thought-provoking conversations this show has ever had. Carly's new book, Untamed Pleasure: Unleash Your True Erotic Nature, is an invitation to examine the invisible cages that have domesticated our pleasure, and to find the keys that live inside us to open them.
Carly Mountain is a somatic psychotherapist, sex therapist, sacred space holder and author of Descent & Rising: Women’s Stories & the Embodiment of the Inanna Myth and Untamed Pleasure: Unleash Your True Erotic Nature. She is passionate about facilitating people to reconnect with their inherent erotic aliveness, power and pleasure. She lives in Sheffield, England with her husband and two daughters.
Highlights from our discussion include:
- What eros and eroticism actually mean and why they are so much bigger than sex
- The cages , cultural and personal , that domesticate women's pleasure and how to start finding the keys
- Why midlife may actually be the most erotic chapter of a woman's life
- How communication is the skeleton key that opens every single cage
- The six bodies framework and why giving the emotional body its own wisdom is so important for women
- Creative transgression as a pathway back to erotic aliveness and what that can look like in practice
When pleasure has gone quiet in your life, Carly says it is not a sign that something is over. It is a compass pointing you toward where you need to go next. The cages are real. And so are the keys. They have been inside you all along.
If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at pleasureinthepause.com for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.
CONNECT WITH CARLY MOUNTAIN:
Ep 10: Carly Mountain
CONNECT WITH GABRIELLA ESPINOSA:
The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.
About the guest
Carly MountainSomatic psychotherapist, sex therapist, sacred space holder and author2 episodes with Carly Mountain on Pleasure in the Pause.See all their episodes
