What this episode is about
Gabriella and Brooke Bralove go deep into what trauma actually is, how it lives in the nervous system, and how it shapes desire, arousal, and the ability to feel safe in intimacy in ways most women never connect.
Key takeaways
- Gabriella says sometimes low desire is about more than hormones. The story can go back to experiences we never had language for, moments the body quietly held onto.
- Brooke Bralove defines trauma as anything outside you that is too overwhelming for your nervous system to handle.
- Brooke says when sex hurts, libido drops as the pain rises. She says it makes sense once you take it apart.
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
Trauma can be quiet
“Trauma can be a lot of things. It can be bullying. It can be never having your needs met as a child because your parents had to work all the time. That's not their fault, but it could have caused trauma inside of you.”
What lights you up inside
“What about the sun on your face? How does that feel? What about when you cuddle with your dog? Is that pleasurable? What about when you're dancing? And so I'm often asking people what lights you up from the inside out. Do more of that.”
The brain is the biggest sexual organ
“We all know the brain is the biggest sexual organ there is, and specifically for women. If women are not there in their brain, it ain't happening.”
“I often ask women in my coaching work, how is it that you want to feel in this next stage of life in midlife. And you know, we all conjure up these images, powerful, sexy, vibrant.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 43:59
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Show notes
Have you ever wondered why intimacy feels harder than it should? Why desire feels distant, or why being fully present in your body during sex feels just out of reach , even when everything else in your life seems fine? Most women in midlife assume it is hormones. And sometimes it is. But sometimes the story runs deeper, back through experiences the body absorbed and quietly held onto.
In this episode of Pleasure in the Pause, Gabriella sits down with licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and AASECT certified sex therapist Brooke Bralove for one of the most important conversations this show has ever had. They go deep into what trauma actually is, how it lives in the nervous system, and how it shapes desire, arousal, and the ability to feel safe in intimacy in ways most women never connect. They also explore a remarkable and fast-working therapy called Accelerated Resolution Therapy, or ART, and how it is helping women finally feel present and safe in their bodies again.
Read the full show notesShow less
This is a tender topic. If anything in this episode stirs something up for you, please give yourself permission to pause and take whatever space you need.
Are you ready to awaken your sensuality and feel more empowered in your body? Access the FREE Pleasure Upgrade Bundle at pleasureinthepause.com/gift.
Brooke Bralove is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and AASECT certified sex therapist with over 20 years in private practice. She specializes in trauma, sexual health, and emotional healing, helping individuals and couples move through anxiety, trauma, and relationship challenges so they can feel more connected, confident, and fully themselves. A trained Accelerated Resolution Therapy practitioner and sought after speaker, Brooke is known for her warmth, her insight, and her gift for making complex emotional and neurological processes feel accessible and real. She practices in Bethesda, Maryland just outside Washington DC.
Key Insights
- Trauma is broader than most women realize.
- The body holds onto experiences long after the mind has moved on.
- Low libido is not always hormonal.
- Accelerated Resolution Therapy works fast.
- You are more than your past sexual experiences.
This conversation is for every woman who has ever wondered why pleasure feels so far away , and never thought to look at her history for the answer. The body is not broken. It is protecting itself the only way it knows how. And with the right support, it can learn that it is safe to open again.
If you're seeking to reclaim your pleasure and vitality, join Gabriella at pleasureinthepause.com for this enlightening journey into the heart of female pleasure and empowerment.
CONNECT WITH BROOKE BRALOVE:
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The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.
About the guest
Brooke BraloveLicensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and AASECT certified sex therapist with over 20 years in private practiceGuest on this episode of Pleasure in the Pause.More about them
