Dr. Shahzadi Harper on Sex, Perimenopause, and Feeling Like Yourself Again

Debunking Myths and Rewriting the Menopause Narrative

One of the most pervasive misconceptions about menopause is that it signals the end of a woman's sexual identity. Dr. Harper challenges this notion head-on:

"When you're in your 20s, you're almost taught the narrative that once you get to your 40s, 50s, 60s, or, you know, once you get to midlife and beyond, sex is off the cards. Women lose their sparkle [...] I think once I got to about 40, I remember thinking, I'm not ready to fade away, lose my sparkle and shine. I'm just beginning in some way."

Rather than accepting the societal script that menopause marks the end of desirability and vitality, Dr. Harper encourages women to embrace this transformative period as an opportunity for self-discovery and renewed confidence.

The Multifaceted Nature of Libido Changes

When it comes to understanding shifts in sexual desire during perimenopause and menopause, Dr. Harper emphasizes the complex interplay of factors at work:

"I often say libido is multifactorial. It's not just about hormones and physical changes, but there can be things within a relationship that are unresolved, that need to be communicated, there can be stress at work, there can be financial issues going on, so it's very much a multifactorial issue."

Recognizing that libido changes are influenced by hormonal fluctuations, physical symptoms, relationship dynamics, and life stressors is key to developing a comprehensive approach to sexual wellness in midlife.

Dr. Harper's Tips for Navigating Libido Changes

• "Communication with your partner is key at this point in time."

• "Prioritize stress management, sleep, and rest - these are also key tools in managing perimenopause."

• "Lubes should be part of our sexual wellness toolbox. We need to normalize lube from an early age. It should just be there on every nightstand."

• "Get to know yourself first and what turns you on - regain that confidence back in your body before couple play. And I think a sex toy is a great way of doing that."

• Discuss treatment options, such as hormone therapy or testosterone supplementation, with a knowledgeable healthcare provider.

Rediscovering Pleasure and Falling in Love with Yourself Again

For many women, the physical and emotional upheavals of menopause can lead to a disconnection from their bodies and a loss of confidence. Dr. Harper offers a powerful reframe:

"It's about rediscovering your body, using some nice oils to massage the vulva/vagina. Getting a mirror out and looking down there because many women don't even know what their vulvas look like."

By encouraging women to engage in self-discovery, whether through self-massage, mirror work, or exploring new forms of sensual touch, Dr. Harper highlights the importance of cultivating a loving, appreciative relationship with one's own body.

The Power of Localized Estrogen Therapy

One of the most transformative interventions for managing menopause-related vaginal discomfort and pain during sex is the use of localized estrogen therapy. Dr. Harper is a strong proponent of this treatment:

"There are vaginal oestrogens, and also vaginal DHEA that you insert into the vagina. As well as creams that you apply externally to the vulva [...] It's localized, it's safe, it's a very low dose."

By normalizing the use of vaginal estrogen and educating women about its safety and efficacy, Dr. Harper aims to empower more individuals to seek out this life-changing treatment option.

Advocating for Women's Sexual Wellness

Throughout our conversation, Dr. Harper's passion for advocating for women's health shines through. She calls on healthcare providers to proactively address sexual wellness concerns and for society at large to invest in menopause research and education:

"I think doctors also need to pull their socks up and think, well, if a woman comes in saying these things, she may not have checked low libido on her list [...] I think they should ask the question, so do you have low libido? Because all of these factors we've been talking, it will probably mean, that her libido is right down at the bottom of the priority list."

By championing open dialogue, comprehensive education, and compassionate care, Dr. Harper is leading the charge in transforming the menopause landscape and empowering women to prioritize their sexual well-being.

Conclusion: Living Your Best Life

The perimenopause to menopause transition is a unique journey for every woman, marked by both challenges and opportunities for growth. By normalizing conversations around sexual health, providing practical strategies for symptom management, and encouraging women to rediscover their innate sensuality, Dr. Harper offers a roadmap for navigating this transformative period with confidence and grace.

As we conclude our interview, Dr. Harper leaves us with a powerful reminder:

"I think it surprises me how good it is to be at this point in life. At 25, I'd never thought that at this point, I would be feeling so much more fulfilled and happy [...] I think I just really enjoy being me at this point in my life and having these kinds of conversations, Gabriella, you know, I love the fact that we're pushing boundaries."

May we all embrace the joy and wisdom of this sentiment as we chart our own paths through the beautiful, complex tapestry of midlife and beyond.

Key Takeaways and Action Steps

• Challenge societal narratives that equate menopause with the end of sexual vitality.

• Approach libido changes from a holistic perspective, considering hormonal, physical, emotional, and relational factors.

• Prioritize self-discovery and body appreciation through practices like self-massage, mirror work, and sensual exploration.

• Discuss localized estrogen therapy with your healthcare provider to address vaginal discomfort and pain during sex.

• Advocate for better menopause education, research, and care by speaking openly about your experiences and demanding comprehensive support from healthcare providers and society at large.

• Embrace the unique journey of menopause as an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and renewed confidence in your inherent beauty and sensuality.

Ready to take the next step on your journey to reclaiming your vitality, pleasure, and power in midlife? Here are some valuable resources mentioned in my conversation with Dr. Shahzadi Harper:

• Visit theharperclinic.com to explore Dr. Harper's groundbreaking work and access her expertise in perimenopause and menopause care.

• Follow @drshahzadiharper on Instagram and tune in to her weekly Women's Power Hour every Wednesday at 12pm UK GMT/6pm US Central. These informative sessions cover a wide range of topics related to midlife health.

• Discover a comprehensive guide to navigating perimenopause in Dr. Harper's book, "The Perimenopause Solution," available on Amazon in the US, UK, and Europe. This must-read resource offers a holistic approach to understanding and managing the perimenopause transition.

Remember, your pleasure matters, and you deserve to feel your best at every stage of life. Take the first step today toward embracing your unique journey and rediscovering the joys of midlife and beyond.