What this episode is about
Prioritizing your pleasure isn't selfish, it's the key to connecting with others and experiencing your full humanity. Discover how cultivating joy ripples out to benefit everyone around you.
In this episode
- Pleasure is What Makes Us Human
- Overcoming the Obstacles to Pleasure
- Redefining Pleasure on Your Terms
Moments from this episode
Word for word from the recording. Tap a time to hear it.
Look for what lights you up
“Instead, when you think about pleasure, I'd like you to look for what brings you joy, what lights you up.”
Widen what pleasure means
“Widening our definition of pleasure can make more available to us. It can expand our capacity to experience pleasure, creating new pleasure pathways to experience more day to day pleasure.”
Pleasure is a practice, not a chore
“It's not about making pleasure a burdensome ticking exercise. It's about creating a practice of connecting to your pleasure and opening to sensation on every level so you can experience greater pleasure, joy, intimacy with yourself and all those around you.”
“Menopause can disconnect us from feeling any pleasure whatsoever, but we are wired for pleasure. Our brain just is in the habit of focusing on what doesn't feel good.”
Gabriella Espinosaat 1:36
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Show notes
As women, we often receive messages that prioritizing our own pleasure is selfish or indulgent.
We may hear little voices in our heads saying, "Oh no, that's not okay. It's too much." But what if I told you that making your pleasure a priority isn't just good for you, it's good for everyone around you?
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Pleasure is What Makes Us Human
Prioritizing pleasure is not selfish or indulgent. It's what allows us to connect with others and experience the fullness of our humanity. When we make time to experience pleasure regularly, we create new pathways in our brains and bodies that expand our capacity for joy. This has a beautiful rippling effect into every aspect of our lives, our work, creativity, relationships, and how we feel about ourselves.
"Pleasure is a profound sense of being that nourishes the mind, body and soul. It is the elixir of life, and to live in pleasure is to live a life well lived." - Deepak Chopra
Overcoming the Obstacles to Pleasure
I know firsthand how the stress, fatigue, and overwhelm of perimenopause and menopause can disconnect us from feeling pleasure. But even in challenging times, remember that we are wired for joy. Our brains may focus on what doesn't feel good out of habit, but we have the power to shift that focus.
I'm not suggesting you ignore your symptoms or responsibilities. But you cannot pour from an empty cup. When you prioritize your pleasure, everyone benefits.
Redefining Pleasure on Your Terms
So often, we confuse pleasure with the taboo, something sexual, sensual, or erotic. While pleasure can intersect with those things, that narrow definition can make us feel even more blocked or numb, especially during major life transitions.
Instead, I invite you to redefine pleasure as anything that:
- Brings you joy
- Lights you up
- Puts a smile on your face
- Gives you a spring in your step
What makes you feel alive and vibrant? It could be walks in nature, dancing, delicious food, it doesn't matter. What matters is bringing mindfulness to the things that bring you pleasure so you can consciously cultivate more of them.
Awakening Pleasure Through the Senses
One powerful entry point to experiencing more pleasure is through the senses. By focusing on smell, taste, touch, sound, and sight, you introduce more feeling and connection into your life.
Ask yourself:
- What are the smells, tastes, and textures of the meal I'm eating?
- What are my eyes taking in as I walk in nature?
- How does this warm shower feel against my body?
- What emotions arise when I listen to my favorite song?
- How does it feel to move my body or rest my head on a pillow?
Notice what happens in your body as you engage your senses. This awareness will eventually ripple into your intimate and sexual experiences, if you choose to go there.
Your Pleasure is Your Birthright
Every one of us is encoded to experience pleasure. It is our birthright. I invite you now to pause, place your hands on your heart or belly, and take five slow, deep breaths. Ask yourself: What brings me pleasure? What makes me feel alive and vibrant?
Open yourself to receive the answers and the pleasurable sensations that bubble up. Write down 10 things that bring you pleasure and delight. And if you need inspiration, download my free Awaken Pleasure Checklist.
Remember, this isn't about making pleasure a burdensome task. It's about connecting to your joy and opening to sensation on every level. So you can experience greater pleasure, intimacy, and aliveness, for yourself and all those around you.
About your host
Gabriella EspinosaI talk with doctors and experts about pleasure, desire and feeling fully alive in midlife. This one's just me.More about me
